


Seasons of Love

by fineinthemorning



Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Domestic Fluff, Drabble Collection, Fluff and Angst, Multi, One Shot Collection, Poetic, Polyamory, Polyamory Negotiations, Post-Series, Recovered Memories, Romance, Tokyo Ghoul: re
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-09-13
Updated: 2017-09-03
Packaged: 2018-04-20 14:45:18
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,320
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4791212
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fineinthemorning/pseuds/fineinthemorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p><i>He tells each one, “There is a part of me that belongs only to you.”</i><br/>And he means it. It’s true.<br/>And it’s easy on the first and the last day, too, for each of them to meet his eyes and say, “I love you.”</p><p> </p><p>This will be a collection of drabbles and one shots based on an AU in which Sasaki decides to live four different lives that rotate with each new season. These take place post series under the assumption that there is a mostly happy ending.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> I'm sorry my motivations are so scattered. I hope that readers can still enjoy this and what I can produce at this time. I'd really appreciate some feedback on this idea, and if you want to suggest something for particular characters that you want to see, please go ahead. :D

**In Spring, Kirishima Touka is his whole world.**

They wake up beside one another. He smiles at her, and she blushes and looks away. He pulls her close and kisses her deeply with a lingering promise of a life they’ll never share, and when she pulls them apart, she rolls her eyes as she smiles with a beauty that only grows with each new Spring.

She calls him  _‘idiot’_  with an affection that’s hopelessly faithful and that blossoms anew in her smile every time she returns his.

During the day, they work together in the coffee shop she owns in Ikebukuro, and he flirts, and she pretends she can’t stand it when really it is only the fact that she loves every second of it that she can’t stand. At night, they are the family he never knew even if nothing ever comes from their union.

**In Summer, Washuu Hideyoshi is his whole world.**

They wake up wrapped within one another. He always wakes up first, but he never bothers to wake the other and just waits and watches and revels in the blessing. When he does wake, and their eyes meet, they laugh without any reservations.

He calls him  _‘Ken’_  with a history, present, and future saturated with more happiness than any tragedy he has ever experienced.

During the day, they’re without worry or care and know only that sharing their collective warmth with others is the only thing as rewarding as finding it for themselves. At night, they make love until they disappear inside one another and he finds the peace he never thought possible.

**In Autumn, Tsukiyama Shuu is his whole world.**

They wake up with one tucked protectively inside the other. Violet eyes peek up and he sinks fingers in violet hair to pull back his head and meet his lips in a kiss. When the kiss is broken, violet eyes are half-lidded and in love while gray ones reveal a tender grace.

He calls him  _‘Mon cher’_  with a devotion that’s tested and proven through blood, tears, and time.

During the day, he is whatever he wants him to be, and he has no problem being selfish with him. They travel the world and he sees what he never thought he would. At night, he is surprised again and again by his own desires and the other’s willingness to make his every dream come true.

**In Winter, Arima Kishou is his whole world.**

They wake up with one draped over the other. It doesn’t matter who wakes first, the other will always wake soon after from the former planting chaste kisses anywhere their lips can reach.

He calls him  _‘Haise’_  with a possessiveness that never takes more from him than necessary and leaves him wanting for nothing.

During the day, they return to what they have come to know best and they save the lives of humans and ghouls alike without hypocrisy or casualties or suffering. At night, he is rewarded with both the familiar domestic life the two once shared followed by an evening of actions speaking gratitude far louder than words ever could.

* * *

He tells each one,  _“There is a part of me that belongs only to you.”_

And he means it. It’s  _true_.

And it’s easy on the first and the last day, too, for each of them to meet his eyes and say, “I love  _you_.”


	2. Consistencies

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I will stick to the order of the seasons, but this is in order of who is being thought of and not who Kaneki is actually with. Thank you all for your responses. Your comments keep me strong and bring me genuine happiness!

**At every opportunity to please*, he thinks of Touka.**

“What did you find, Mon cher?”

Kaneki was hoping he’d be out of the line by the time Tsukiyama returned, but the man that had been ahead of him was writing a check and there were no other representatives to help him. He tries not to make it obvious, so he just shrugs and replies, “A gift.”

Kaneki is called up and the ghoul follows and watches as the jewelry store representative withdraws a navy velvet box and opens it to be viewed and verified, “This is the one you wanted, sir?” They’re in Seoul in the Gangnam district, but thankfully, the man is bilingual.

“Yes, thank you.”

It’s a tennis bracelet with white gold wiring that weaves around nine amethyst stones like thin vines hiding gems. Tsukiyama says nothing.

“For Touka,” Kaneki clarifies softly, a hint of nervousness bleeding through his normally confident exterior that he portrays in the ghoul’s presence.

“Non,” Tsukiyama’s response is immediate and Kaneki immediately prepares himself for some kind of argument born from jealousy, but instead he hears Tsukiyama say, “Mon cher, please consider another one. Though I can clearly see your thoughtfulness in selecting this piece, realize that the wiring here,” and a slender finger pointed to the vines that wrapped loosely around the gems, “would not be efficient to her daily tasks. Let’s find one similar with a band that has thicker links so that she can wear it without worry of damage or it getting caught on anything.”

“We do have others,” the representative offers, nervous that he may make no sale at all if he doesn’t come up with an alternative.

Kaneki allows a small, pleased smile, “Yes, I’d like to see the others. They’re amethysts as well?”

Kaneki loves Tsukiyama Shuu, but he won’t say it out loud.

The man nods, “Of course, sir. This way.”

When the man turns away, the half-ghoul takes Tsukiyama’s hand and brings it to his mouth, placing a small, affectionate kiss on his fingers that leaves Tsukiyama in shock. Kaneki never displays affection openly in public with him, and the gesture is so gentle and romantic that the ghoul is left wondering if this is all just a dream.

Tsukiyama tries to smile as he is pulled in the direction of the other tennis bracelets with his fingers wrapped in his lover’s, but he is concerned that if he moves his lips even a little bit to respond, he’ll lose control and end up kissing his raison d'etre right there in the jewelry store.

 

**In his nightmares and moments of panic, he always calls for Hide.**

“Please kill me. Please kill me. Please kill me. Please kill me.” Haise doesn’t thrash or move, and his words are not fully formed, but Arima can hear them clear as day.

As Haise continues his plea, Kishou pulls him closer until the younger investigator’s body is flush with his. He is careful not to place his arms around his lower back in his embrace, and he takes care to place one large hand behind Haise’s head to lean his ear closer so he can whisper gentle comforts.

“ _Hide, please_ , please help me. I don’t want to die. I don’t want to die. _I don’t want to die. Hide-please_ -”

Kishou doesn’t know what really goes on in Haise’s dreams, but he has a fairly good idea. He’s seen Haise at his best . . . and also at his worst.

It’s not the first time Kishou has heard Haise talk in his sleep, beg to be killed like he had in the past, beg to live like he had in the past, _beg for Hide over and over and over_ in his nightmares . . .

“You’re safe, Haise,” he whispers gently, “I have you.” His lips rest on Haise’s ear, ready to continue with the ritual that is so familiar now.

And, Haise stiffens momentarily before melting into him. He had come to, and he nuzzles his lover’s neck and inhales his scent, “Promise me,” he says softly, and he is surprised at how small and weak his own voice sounds. He’s desperate for this man’s place in his life. He _needs_ Kishou.

Kishou is never jealous of Hide. He understands the Washuu’s place in Haise’s life. Hide is the only one who can make him human, but Arima is the only one who can ensure Haise that he’ll never hurt others again. He’s the only one who can make that promise and keep it.

“I promise, Ohitsuji-kun.”

Haise’s lips pull into a smile against his skin. He finds _every_ affectionate word from Arima’s mouth _cute_ somehow.

Arima has never told Haise that he talks in his sleep; it’s just not necessary.

 

**He always considers the beauty Shuu sees in this world.**

“Hey, what’s the hold up, Kane-whoa! This is seriously cool!” Hide had walked several meters before realizing that Kaneki was no longer beside him. He padded back to stand next to him, his umbrella knocking Kaneki’s softly in the light summer rain.

Ken smiled at the blonde before turning back to the artwork that had been carved into the side of the decrepit old house. It was rare to see homes like this now, and it looked like a relic from the previous century, but the engraving looked fresh and was saturated with contrasting colors from the summer rain. Flowers had been carved into the rotting wood so deeply that it was clear that there were no owners to protest. There was even an accompanying quote that was a challenge to make out. Kaneki stepped closer, only the short few centimeters of tall grass between the abandoned home and the sidewalk.

He read the words aloud as his fingers fell in the grooves of the carved kanji and accompanying hiragana without worry of splinters, “If you remember me, then I don’t care if everyone else forgets.”

He felt warm inside, and before he was able to process his words, he spoke softly while staring at the huge work that must have taken one person weeks or months to finish, “I wish Shuu were here to see this.”

“We should bring him here, then,” Hide’s words were as light and airy as the June rain.

“W-we?” Kaneki stepped back to the sidewalk to get the full view once more, but he didn’t look in his lover’s direction.

“Yeah, why not?” Kindness was so natural to Hide that it made Ken blush.

It broke the rules they’d set. Hide wanted to share his summer with Shuu? No, that couldn’t be it. He dared to look in the direction of his sun.

The smile there was genuine. It was gold. Soft. When his lips curved just wide enough, the sun would shine through and glimmer impressively like gold stretched thin.

“I’ll show him in _September_ ,” Kaneki was smiling when he looked away.

Hide would never press any subject with Kaneki. Kaneki knew this, and they had formed a deeper trust in this way. When Kaneki was ready to talk about it, he would, and it no longer had anything to do with fear of what Hide’s response might be.

“Cool,” and Hide draped an arm around Kaneki’s shoulder without his smile faltering for even a second. It made the two of them relax, and Ken felt like he could share his thoughts without worry.

There was never any reason for nervous or shy feelings to last in Hide’s presence.

“The quote is Murakami. From _Kafka on the Shore_?” He wasn’t a hundred percent sure.

“Something Tsukiyama-san reads?” Hide tried to watch his lover’s eyes.

Kaneki nodded, “We both do,” and he went on to add, “the flowers are dahlias, I think.”

“Oh?” Hide could tell there was more to it.

“Sh-Tsukiyama brought them for me one day. They mean ‘ _forever yours_ ’.”

Without warning, Hide turned Ken into him and brought their mouths together under the privacy of the umbrella, only allowing the house to view their intimacy. Hide loved Ken, but sometimes, he loved the others, too. Sometimes, he wished he could experience everything Ken did. Sometimes, he wished they were one and could share everything for all eternity- every touch- every kiss- every thought- every pain- every wish.

If he kissed Ken while Ken thought of Shuu, would he have an idea of what Kaneki felt for him or of what Shuu felt for Ken?

Kaneki broke the kiss and was breathing hard, his lips red and his face coloring quickly, “W-Where did that come from,” and he playfully hit Hide’s chest with the back of his hand, “We’re in public, you know. Y-you can’t just kiss me like _that_ in the middle of the _street_.”

Hide realized his own condition, breathless, wanting, so _in love_ , “I-Well, I can’t help it! You were just being really cute!”

“I’m not cute!” Kaneki shot back, clearly playful despite his tone.

Hide whined in response, “You _are_ , though!”

Kaneki rolled his eyes, “Let’s go home.” And he turned his back to his lover before adding, “And continue there.”

Hide couldn't help but wonder if Kaneki wanted the same. What would shared seasons be like, really?

 

**His respect for Kishou bleeds into conversation all too often.**

“Kishou mentioned that actually. He said something like, -the functionaries acting without question within the ghoul gangs that are still present aren’t necessarily perpetrators.”

“Did he now?” She finds the words of mercy completely ridiculous, “Adults know the difference between right and wrong.”

Kaneki played with the towel in his hands as he spoke, “Yes, but- I think it’s a pretty valid point,” and their eyes met, “I mean, a lot of them _aren’t_ adults. _They’re just kids._ ”

“ _Really?_ ” and she knows that by _kids_ he means ages thirteen up to twenty-something. He’s actually saying that her own behavior as a child was also excusable, but if she is still finding forgiveness for herself, it’s harder still to not hold others to the same impossible standard.

He can tell she’s not happy, so he immediately changes the subject.

“Kishou also mentioned that he’d be a witness to our wedding.”

“ _What?_ ” and she’s trying not to choke on her own spit.

“I mean- what I meant was-” Kaneki had really blurted out the first thing that had come to mind. That was it. There it was. He’d sort of fucked up, but there was no going back now.

“Arima _offered_ or _you asked_?” The ghoul wasn’t stupid. The answer would tell her Kaneki’s actual intentions here.

Kaneki was blushing stupidly and suddenly felt the need to start wiping the counters in front of him despite having just done so two minutes prior, “I-he _offered._ The . . . whole thing . . . is his idea.”

Her tone was that of judgmental disbelief, “Wait a minute,” and it raised in pitch and speed, “What you’re saying is that that old man _suggested_ to _you_ that _we_ get _married_?!”

“Yeah, actually, that’s exactly what I’m saying,” He’s blushing a shade of crimson, but he understands Arima’s line of reasoning, so he just keeps going, “He said you were my only option, and that I may as well.”

She’s blushing now, too, and the tone in her voice is doing nothing to hide her true feelings, “That you _may as well_? Who the fuck does he think he is?”

Still, for all of Kaneki’s efforts, he is still finding so many mysteries within the woman his heart has chosen, and even when he thinks he’s understanding her, he’s nervous that there’s a chance he’s still wrong somehow, “Ah, Touka, I don’t think he meant it like that. I think he meant that if it was something you would want, then I should do it. To make you happy.”

She’s so red now that she can’t even look at him any longer and she is rewashing the cups on the counter that had been set out to dry, “I’m sure his offer wasn’t about _me_.”

Kaneki sighed, “He just wants me to live a complete life.”

When she says nothing, he turns to look at her. There are drops of water falling from somewhere higher than the faucet, so he sets the rag down and embraces her possessively from behind, “I love you, Touka.”

She’s been embraced like this a thousand times now. She’s heard that phrase at least a hundred times in the last year and a half. She trusts Kaneki. Kaneki trusts them. So, over time, especially when she gets glimpses into his life with the others like this, she has learned that she trusts them with her beloved, too.

She’s not going to marry him.

She can’t steal away the love he receives from the others like that; she’d never deprive him of that.

“ _Idiot_ ,” and she turns in his embrace so she can look him in the eyes, “ _I love you, too_ ,” and when she kisses him, she is happy not only because she can love him, but also because he is able to feel so loved by so many.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> *'Please' has the connotation to some people as making an effort that may not appear genuine, but here, I mean that he is constantly thinking of ways in which he can make Touka happy. He is always thinking, 'Would Touka like this?' or 'Could this make Touka happy?'.
> 
> The name Arima calls Haise is the equivalent of 'ram', but I added 'kun' here to make it sound more affectionate. 'Chan' felt too childlike and plays too much for me into the 'Papa' possibility, so I settled on 'kun'. T-T
> 
> Finally, the flower meaning for the dahlia is the western meaning, not the Japanese meaning. The Japanese meaning, apparently, is 'to have good taste'.


	3. Chapter 3

**Spring**

**Hanami**

It was Spring, early April, and the cherry blossoms were in full bloom throughout Shinjuku Gyoen. It was Kaneki’s idea to come here; the truth was that he’d only participated in hanami a handful of times and those handfuls had all involved only himself and Hide. He knew it was supposed to be a big affair; he also knew that Hide had been invited to ohanami parties. Still, Hide had gone with him instead. So, when he invited only Touka to join him on a picnic under the pink and white blossoms, he didn’t think it out of the ordinary that it was only the two of them. Looking around the park, however, it was clear that his request might have been a little unusual- especially considering they had many friends working at :re that could have joined them.

“I hope this is okay,” he offered a final opening for her to bow out if it made her uncomfortable.

She only grunted, “I told you, didn’t I?”

He smiled, “I know.” He could remember the conversation they’d had that morning and the night before.

Touka had made the obento for the two of them; it was human meat made to look like yakitori. She had also brought a thermos of coffee for them as well. She handed Kaneki a skewer.

Nothing about them was normal exactly, but they tried not to raise suspicion. They were both registered ghouls now, and what they were doing wasn’t exactly illegal, but there was still a huge portion of the population that wouldn’t have been comfortable had they not disguised their little feast.

Kaneki complimented her artistry and she rolled her eyes. They shared the meal together leisurely, and after a while, Ken took out a large sketchbook from his shoulder bag and a few pieces of fine charcoal.

“What are you going to sketch?” Touka asked as she poured more coffee into the two mugs between them.

“I’m not sure,” he replied, “Something beautiful?”

Touka rolled her eyes, “Draw the cherry blossoms then.”

He set to work as she checked her phone. Yomo had updated the :re blog, so it was likely a slow Sunday. He’d mentioned their cherry tree bonsai and had taken a picture of it. He was proud of the thing. It added an extra touch to the café, so Touka hadn’t minded. Why Yomo needed one more thing to feel responsible for, she couldn’t figure out, however.

Kaneki continued his sketch in small strokes, continually looking up at Touka.

When she finally noticed, she asked, accusingly, “What are you sketching?”

“Just . . .” Kaneki blushed lightly and pulled the sketchbook closer to him.

“Let me see,” she said as she tossed her phone into the blanket and moved to close the distance between them.

“I mean-“ Kaneki tried to pull away, but it was too late. She had seen.

“You’re pretty good,” she said objectively.

She didn’t appear mad, so Kaneki moved the sketchbook for her to get a better view of his drawing, “You’re beautiful.”

She blushed brilliantly, “What? You-you’re ridiculous . . .”

He smiled back at her, “Thank you.”

“For what?”

“After everything, you still-”

“I told you, didn’t I?” she repeated herself. She felt she was always repeating herself around Kaneki. “As long as I’m here you . . . you’ll always have a home to come to.”

* * *

**Summer**

**O-bon**

“Awesome! We got to see it this year!” Hide pulled on Ken’s yukata sleeve as he completely missed the dirty looks his outburst had already earned him as they crossed the street to get closer to the Sumida river bank.

Kaneki felt himself laugh as he contracted Hide’s mirth, which as always, was rather catching. The year before, the Sumida fireworks festival had rained out, but this year, they would be able to see the whole thing over the river. Hide had a blanket ready, and, within only a few minutes, they found a spot that was close enough to the water that they could smell it, but not so close that they couldn't see the show over the fence between the river and the grassy hillside used every year for just this purpose. Within seconds, the next segment started, and before they could say anything between him, the black sky burst into whites and pinks and golds and music began to blare from across the river.

Hide wasted no time in attempting to make Ken laugh. He began to point out shapes that weren't there, associate music with certain people they shared relationships with, and even connected the show to memories they had experienced together. Soon enough, if Kaneki wasn't laughing, he was smiling and suppressing it, because even with the joy of the festival, Hide showed no restraint in seeking the joy of the moment. Ken had experienced too much pain in his past, so he would make sure that every moment with him would be a new memory filled with joy and love that he could look back on.

"And then Saiko said it looked like a mushroom, remember?"

Kaneki burst out laughing, "How could I forget? Because, because then Touka punched her."

"Yeah, and Ginshi was all, 'no, it really does though'!"

"And instead of helping out, Yoriko just laughed."

"God, that party was crazy! Ghouls should never bake cookies!"

Ken could remember how so many of them had come together that night. People he'd never dreamed of being in the same room together had joined to celebrate his birthday of all things. It had all been thanks to his oldest friend; it had all been thanks to Hide. Without realizing how emotional he;d been feeling, Kaneki blinked as his vision had gone blurry. Oh, he was crying. He was . . . happy. Too happy.

Hide touched his face gently, his rough hands wiping at his tears as he smiles knowingly, "Ken, you're crying because I look so beautiful in my yuktata, right?"

Kaneki weakly batted his hands away, but Hide just continued wiping away at his face, "And you think I've never looked so sexy with explosions in the sky and smoke in the air, and my eyes, they're sparkling, right? 'Cause of the fireworks. Damn, I look so good. You just want to kiss me don't you."

"Stop it," Ken was laughing and crying at the same time.

"Here, it's okay. I'll kiss you. You don't have to beg," he teased before he leaned in and pressed his lips to his lover's. As the festival carried on around them, their kiss continued until Kaneki had stopped crying.

The half ghoul finally pulled away, red-faced but pleased, and then noticed the people staring, a mother in particular who literally turned her nose up and looked away as soon as their eyes met.

Ken shook his head as he looked back at Hide disapprovingly, “You’ve got to stop doing that.”

Hide's eyes went wide and put his hands to his chest defensively, " _ Me? _ " he dramatized, “ _ You’ve _ got to stop asking for it.”

Ken rolled his eyes, practically having to yell despite their closeness as the fireworks went off close by, “That wasn’t asking for it. When have I ever asked for it?!”

Hide kissed him again, suddenly, and without warning, though, to be fair, Kaneki had been asking for it. Hide even moved his hands inside the sleeves of his lover's yukata to stroke at his skin and pull him closer. and even touches his arm affectionately.

Kaneki pulled away again, just as suddenly, only to scold him, "Hide, people are looking.”

Hide looked around and nodded approvingly, “You're right, Ken. It appears our show is hotter than the fireworks. That’s saying something.”

Kaneki rolled his eyes, but he was smiling, “We are not putting on a show!”

“But we could-” Hide shrugged innocently and then began wiggling his eyebrows shamelessly.

“No.”

“I love you, Ken,” Hide smiled warmly and pulled him into a hug so that he could rest against his chest and still see the fireworks above.

Kaneki blinked, wiped a few more tears away and smiled gently, “I love you, too, Hide.”

* * *

**Autumn**

**Momijigari**

“Water’s reflection

The falling leaves garnet red

My lover’s eyes, too”

“Ka-Kaneki?” Tsukiyama blushed, never expecting Kaneki to speak poetry to him in public.

“Haha, you like it,” he smiled, glancing at his eyes only for a moment before looking back at the reflection of the momiji trees in the water.

“Really, you do these things just to tempt me in public.” Tsukiyama pretended to complain, but it was clear, by the faint blush on his cheeks, that he really did appreciate it.

“That may be true,” Kaneki teased back, clearly enjoying the afternoon stroll they had decided to take through some gardens nearby. In Tokyo, fall had come, and with it, the beautiful colors of gold, orange, and red painted the gardens around the city.

“You like it then?” Tsukiyama meant the garden.

Kaneki understood, “Very much. Honestly, I wouldn’t mind staying here and spending the afternoon writing.”

“Writing?”

“Yes.”

Tsukiyama gave pause and took a shot at his own haiku,

“From his heart he writes

Words he never says aloud

Lover’s precious tome”

He was rewarded with actual laughter spilling from Kaneki’s lips before he finally asked, “Would you read it?”

Tsukiyama spent a moment marveling at Ken’s beauty before answering, “Of course. I’ve always known you to be an avid reader- at some times more than others- but I didn’t know you wrote.”

Kaneki shook his head, “I don’t. Rather, I haven’t. Honestly, I kind of enjoyed it- writing reports as an investigator. Kishou and Akira had to lecture me for being too flowery.”

Tsukiyama grinned seductively, “By all means, mon cher, be flowery.”

Kaneki rolled his eyes.

“Poetry?” Shuu offered an opening to continue.

“Maybe.” Kaneki shrugged. He liked poetry, but he had written very little. It was mediocre at best.

“Prose then?”

Kaneki smiled, appreciative that Shuu encouraged him in so many things, “I’m not sure, honestly.”

“Your story, Shuu stepped in front of him on the path and turned to look into his eyes, “. . . it’s worth hearing.”

Though his lover’s sincerity was quite earnest, Kaneki couldn’t help but defend himself with a smile, “Tragedies aren’t popular anymore.”

“A tragedy? Not at all. An epic. A tale of inspiration.” Tsukiyama began to carry on with grand gesticulations, “Overcoming loss, even. You get to marry the beautiful lady in the end, too.”

Kaneki grunted, sure Tsukiyama was referring to himself, “There is no end to your ego-“

“Kirishima-san?” he interrupted.

Kaneki blinked, a bit guilty for thinking such things of Shuu. He hadn’t seen it coming- any mention of Touka. “She wouldn’t marry me,” he said, simple as that, and began to make his way back down the path past Shuu.

Shuu followed after, careful to not get his sandals caught between the stones in the path, “Have you asked?”

“Not exactly,” Ken admitted.

Tsukiyama gave a pause before speaking again and then said very carefully, “You should  . . . if it would make you happy.”

“Kishou said the same thing,” Kaneki replied, waving it off.

Tsukiyama didn’t say anything; he never thought, aside from their adoration of Kaneki, he would ever have anything in common with the white reaper.

After the long period of silence, Kaneki grew concerned. Silence from Tsukiyama could mean a great many things. He stopped and pulled on the other’s arm to slow him down, “I’m happy now.”

Tsukiyama turned around and smiled gently at him, “As am I, my love. As am I.”

Shuu leaned down, bringing their now intertwined fingers to his lips, and kissed Kaneki’s digits softly.

Ken did not pull way, but he did look away, scanning the area for anyone who might notice. They were alone. He glimpsed back to see Shuu kissing still, with his eyes closed. The other had a way of treating him like something so precious- so irreplaceable.

“My king . . .”

Kaneki blushed and pulled his hand away abruptly, “You know I don’t care for that.”

Shuu straightened, smiling and knowing better, “Of course, my apologies.”

“Let’s find a place to sit and write,” he offered.

“Oui, there was a bench across the pond.”

“Thank you,” Kaneki said softly.

Shuu smiled and reached to hold his lover’s hand once more, “Anything, Kaneki-kun.”

* * *

**Winter**

**Christmas**

“I didn’t think . . ." Haise stopped speaking, his sentence left unfinished. His words fit his current process; his surroundings were rendering him speechless. He had been to see illuminations before--once in high school with Hide, another time with Touka, but he each time he'd been to a different one. The Shiodome featured illuminations indoors and rather than stringing lights above, the twinkling bulbs were all around. The website had boasted that people were supposed to feel like they were in an ocean of lights, and it was just that--blue burning around them as they walked through the maze of stars.

Arima stopped walking, and slowly, as if he actually didn't want to look away, he turned from the path that led into an even deeper blue to face Haise directly. “What is it?”

With Arima meeting his gaze, Haise smiled. He felt grounded to reality in the other's gray irises, “I didn’t think I would find this sort of thing . . . beautiful.”

“You like it then?” Arima asked cautiously, searching the other's expression to be sure. He knew Haise appreciated it when he chose and organized their dates, but even after all of this time, he still felt nervous with each one when they were trying something new. And, the Shiodome illuminations on Christmas Eve was something new.

“Yes, of course,” Haise grinned, a barely suppressed smirk surfacing.

Arima also knew that Haise thought it ' _ cute _ ' when he was nervous about such things, so he imagined that his current expression was very telling of how well he knew him. Arima said nothing, though; he didn’t even smile, but he did, uncharacteristically, reach for Sasaki’s hand.

They continued walking. Haise smiled and a light blush surfaced just below his eyes at the height of his cheeks.

“I really like this.”

Arima waited.

“Walking beside you . . . your hand in mine.”

Arima thought on that. They were often beside each other. It was different though, wasn’t it? From the battlefield . . .

And here in public, among all the other couples that were making their way through the ocean, they alone were hand in hand and both male. Despite how important it was to others, he never thought on it much. Perhaps it was because every intimacy they shared was shared in the privacy of Arima's apartment. Rarely did they kiss outside of it, let alone hold hands. He turned his head slightly to look back at Haise who was watching him all the while. He decided he liked holding hands in public, especially if it meant Haise liked it, too.

“Kishou?” Haise blinked, not sure of what the older man was thinking as he stared down at him as the lights overhead began to grow dim.

“Yes?” Arima asked as the building lights went off completely as part of the show that happened every thirty minutes began and the ocean around them began to move in waves. The blue lit Haise's face in colors Arima hadn't yet scene; it was a wonder that he could still be here, he could still remain here with Haise. He never took that for granted, and he never would.

“Merry Christmas,” Haise smiled again, his eyes searching his lover's.

“Merry Christmas, Haise.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Oh, something happened two years later.  
> It begins with an 'H' and you only get one guess.  
> Last update 9-15-2015- wow.


End file.
